You're My Always
by linsteadislife
Summary: From falling in love, to always having their partner's back: a collection of linstead oneshots.
1. Until We Both Feel Much Better

**Hi everyone, so I'm back with something new. I've decided to start a collection of oneshots, this one is set a bit after Jay's abduction. It seemed a bit odd that they made it seem like everything was fine, when really something tramatic had just happened the episode before, but anyway here you all go.**

 **P.S. if you want me to continue my last story I will, only if people want though, I don't really have time with school and all to keep up an actual story, but send in prompts or requests for oneshots, and I'd be more than happy to try and write them! I am doing this so that I can be more consistent rather than leave you all hanging. Anyways, thanks so much, and enjoy!**

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 _Ch. 1 - Until We Both Feel Much Better_

Erin laid restless in bed, the window shaking fiercely with the strong Chicagoan winds. She stared over to the bedside table as the clock read 2:35 am. She groaned pulling the covers over her head, wishing for her headache and insomnia to subside. She'd been through this before, all of it really. Being back in her old high school bedroom going through the same experience – withdrawal. Aside from a somewhat depressing nostalgia, she couldn't get one thing out of her mind. His face. She hadn't seen him much, not since the hospital. He went home to recover, and so did she, of course in an entirely different way. The images flashed in her head, the large dark bruises covering his bloody body, and a look she'd never in his eyes before, a look of hopelessness. He'd always been the strong and optimistic one, with eyes full of hope. Every fiber in her being ached as she remembered. She wondered if this what he's felt ever since she pushed everyone away, crawling deeper into the darkness that haunted her. It was strange, actually feeling that pain, feeling anything really. After what happened all she wanted was to avoid feeling that, doing anything humanly possible calm her demons. Her mind refused to settle, it became apparent sleep was not in cards for her tonight. She needed to take something to mask the pain of her aching body and her aching mind, pushing the thought away, she sat upright, grabbing her keys and headed for the door desperately needing to get out of the room as she felt walls enclosing around her.

A soft knock rang at Jay's door, had he been asleep he wouldn't have heard it, he too couldn't rest his mind for the night.

He opened it expecting Will after a long late-night trauma shift to check up on him, but there she was behind his front door. It felt sort of familiar, opening up the door to her before everything got really complicated, when they were both truly happy.

"Erin? What are you doing here?"

"I'm so sorry. Did I wake you? I know it's really late, like really super late. I just couldn't sleep…" She rambled on with a remarkable speed that matched the nervousness she felt. She took in a deep breath releasing it uttering the last bit she needed to say, quite frankly the most important, "and I wanted to see you."

"Yeah, of course." He said moving aside, letting her in. She felt a little less anxious, he had a way of doing that. Although it hadn't been effective much after Nadia died, it did tonight as she took another deep breath walking into his apartment. Erin walked straight into his bedroom sitting on the edge of his bed, where he soon followed to join her.

"Erin, what's wrong?"

"I'm fine, really. I'm just worried about you."

"No, no you're not. You show up at my door at three in the morning, you're shaking, you look like you haven't slept in I don't even know how long, and don't forget I know you Erin Lindsay." He replied.

She looked up at him, eyes filled with guilt.

"I just, um..." She started biting the tip of her nails with her hands continuing to shake, "I just could really use a fix right now."

He sat in silence for a moment, before nodding understandingly.

"It doesn't mean I will, it would just make me feel kinda better...for a while." She said breaking the slightly tense silence.

"So you came here instead?" Jay asked.

"Yeah, I guess so, is that okay?" She looked up at him with a sad smile, but a smile nonetheless.

"Of course it is, you know I'm always going to be here for you."

Their eyes locked, she forgot what it feels like to really be looked at by him. Like they're the only two people on the face of earth, a feeling of security.

Her hands moved to the sides of his bruised face for a moment, gently stroking the healing wounds with her thumb.

"Do they hurt?" She asked in a quiet tone.

"No, not much, but I can't say much for my two cracked ribs, though." He answered with a light-hearted tone lining his voice.

"How can you be so okay?" She looked down refusing to expose more of her vulnerability.

"Because of you." He answered confidently.

"Yeah..okay, I'm the one who left leaving you to get kidnapped and tortured, and you're fine because of me?"

"Well, you are the one who saved me, aren't you?"

"I guess so." She still seemed unsure.

"Erin, you gotta stop this." Jay's voice tensed up. "You can't keep blaming yourself for things that aren't your fault. Things you have absolutely no control over. You're not going to get any better if you keep doing that, you're going to be able to move on."

He still felt her uneasy next to him, he reached out taking her hand into hands steadying them.

"Thank you." Her voice cracked as she fought off tears, "I really needed to hear that."

"Anytime." He flashed his classic Jay Halstead grin, even beaten up and battered, that smile still made her heart race. She felt lighter, proving that her decision to visit him was a wise one.

"What about you?" She asked.  
"Huh?"

"Why are you awake right now? I barely knocked, if you were asleep you wouldn't have heard it, your bed is still made up, and your eyes are bloodshot red."

"Fine you caught me, detective." Jay responded playfully. "I've had trouble sleeping lately."

"Because of the kidnapping?" Erin asked concern filling her voice.

He paused for a moment before opening up to her, "I been remembering some things about fighting in Afghanistan, things I haven't thought about in a long time."

She listened intently, swallowing a lump in her throat, the last thing she wanted was for him to feel anymore hurt, 'he didn't deserve it any of it,' Erin thought. She hadn't cared about herself lately; she could've lived or died, and it wouldn't have mattered, but him, despite all that she still cared for him deeply.

"And when I got back home I didn't deal with too well. I lost a lot of friends over there that I went through alot with, and when I came home my mom was dead, and my dad and Will were barely there, and I don't know being taken, pu me in that state of mind again...I don't know." His voice trailed off.

"I'm so sorry Jay." She wanted to make him feel better, yet those were the only comforting words she could find.

"It's okay, really. It made me remember that we shouldn't waste the time we get, ya know? That we should focus on living and being with the people we care about most."

Erin smiled, as his words sunk in. "I like that." She commented resting her head onto his shoulder. Jay responded back by pulling her in closer wrapping his arm around the small of her back.

"You for the first time in a long time," she began to say, "it feels like everything's gonna be okay - that I'm going to okay." She sounded sure of her words, actually believing them.

Jay's lips met her forehead, joy washed over him. He wanted nothing more things to be better for her, for her suffering to end.

The two stayed in that state for a while, Erin snuggled up to Jay's side, content, savoring it for as long as possible. After everything the pair had been through, it suddenly became clear that were capable of healing, and that they could heal each other, until they both feel much better.

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 ** **Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed, please tell me if you liked it, or anything really. I love hearing your feedback! Don't forget to follow or favorite if you wanna keep up with my oneshot series. Also, I know it got somewhat ooc towards the end, but I felt it was something I would've wanted to see. Feel free to send in prompts via pm or review. I hope to write another really soon. Thanks everyone, much love. :)****

 **\- Amna**


	2. We're Worth the Fight

**Hello everyone! I wanted to get this somewhat angsty one out before Wednesday, which I can probably speak on behalf of all us by saying I am so so very excited. Anyways this one is set after the 'cool off' (2x16), but before Erin's dark days.**

 **P.S. This chapter is rated M. Also this turned out slightly shorter than I'd like to be but nontheless, hope you all enjoy! :)**

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Neither of them truly remember how they got to this point, the point where they both had failed to resist the temptation of the each other after 'cooling off.' Somehow within a few glasses of liquor and a few lonely texts sent back and forth they found themselves together in his apartment. Relapsing. While straddling his hips, feverish kisses were placed from Erin's neck down to her cleavage as he unhooked her lace bra tossing it aside the bed where the rest of their discarded clothes lay. The touch of Jay's hands running down her bare back sent chills down her spine. She really missed this, not just sex; but _being with him_. Feeling the scratchiness of his scruff on against her skin and the taste of his lips on hers had her questioning why she ever agreed to stop seeing each other in the first place. Erin wasted no time, she needed him, and she needed him now. She pulled off her remaining clothing, reaching for his as well. Jay responded without objection, pinning her wrists above her head, taking control grinding his hips against hers. In combination of sucking at her neck while hitting in that right spot send Erin in a craze of euphoria. The loud moans escaping their mouths drowned any logic in their actions. All that was left was the two of them feeling more whole than they've felt in a while.

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The aroma of freshly brewed black coffee filled the break room the next morning, as Jay poured himself a cup. He wasn't sure what to expect exactly, they hadn't said much in the earlier that morning, as they awkwardly shuffled away from each other avoiding conversation, especially any serious kind. 'What were they?' This was a question that was never really truly answered, not until they were labeled as just partners after putting the brakes on their developing relationship.

Erin entered the room, grabbing a cup standing beside him as he poured her the steaming drink into it.

"So last night..." She started.

"Yeah, we probably shouldn't make that a habit, huh?" He replied.

She turned her body toward him, after looking over her shoulder checking to see if anyone was watching or listening. "I don't know, Jay, maybe we made a mistake calling us off." She waited for a response, but the curious look in his eyes showed otherwise. "Maybe we should just go back to the way things were. We can just be more careful this time around."

"Erin-" The tone in his voice caused her heart to sink.

"No, don't 'Erin' me, didn't you feel it? Last night, you and me, It felt like everything was so clear, it felt like my universe was snapped back into focus. Didn't you feel it?" It sounded more like a plea than she wanted it to.

"Of course I did." he answered back with certainty, "I want to be with you." A smile formed in the corners of her lips. "but I don't want to sneak around, I don't want to play games, not anymore."

"Voight made his views pretty clear, if we don't sneak around, our jobs are at stake." Erin challenged.

"So what?" He brushed off. "If we're worth it, then none of that matters."

And with that he was off, leaving Erin dazed with bewilderment.

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'Why did he have to make it so hard?' She wondered driving through the crowded streets. Antonio sat beside her as they drove behind the rest of the team heading to raid a den where drugs and guns were trafficked through.

Upon arriving to their destination, Voight called out instruction. And off they went, Atwater broke down the door, and the call of "Chicago PD!" rang out repeatedly.

The thunderous bang of gunshots sliced through the air. Each took cover retaliating with shots of their own. All was routine, until out of the corner of her eye she watched him fall to the ground, hard. Suddenly the shots weren't so loud, all she could hear was a distant ringing in her ears as time moved extraordinarily slow.

She didn't care if she had cover or not, determined to get to him, she ran across the crossfire. She took deep breath before examining him, no evident sign of blood, as she looked closer she found that gold colored bullet nestled into the black fibers of his bulletproof vest.

"You're fine. The vest caught it. You're fine, you're fine." She repeated beyond relieved, processing it, trying to control her breathing back down to normal.

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"Jay?" She called out into the locker room. Shortly after, she found him examining his large bruise left by the hit.

Her heart started to settle, "I need to talk to you."

He responded by raising his eyebrows letting her know he was all ears.

"You know when you have a near-death experience you see your whole life flash before you?"

He nodded trying to follow where she going.

"When you went down, that's what happened to me."

"Wow, I almost get shot, and you're thinking about your life, a little selfish, no?" Jay asked, sarcasm overfilling his tone.

"Shut up." She said, punching his shoulder opposite to this wound. "That's not the point, I'm trying to say you were right."

They stood in the same room where she rested her cheek against his hand, with a bitter goodbye. This felt like a fateful, beautiful beginning.

"Nothing else matters, I just want to be with you; completely. We're worth the fight." She expressed sure of every word.

Ecstatic he pulled her closer meeting his lips with hers, smiling into the kiss.


End file.
